Alone with Your Thoughts

One of the things about being on a motorcycle road trip by yourself is you spend a lot of time alone with your thoughts. Yes, you can put some headphones in and rock out, or lean your crotch against the vibrating tank, but both those only last so long, so no matter what you end up thinking. 
 
I recently met this girl who was telling me about how she attended a meditation camp. The premise was that they go,for days and meditate. Meditation is about clearing your thoughts and relaxing, but having experienced a situation where I have been alone with my thoughts, I would imagine that meditation also involved quite a bit of reflection before the mind can be cleared.
In my case, since I can't meditate due a need to focus on the road, and once the music loses interest and the motorcycle masturbation ends, I think about relationships. I think about past relationships and what went wrong or right. I think about present and future relationships and how I can learn from the past to make those better. But even more than that, I think of my dog. Yes, I know, totally lame. But when it comes down to it, she is the longest relationship I have ever had. I’ve had my dog for 9 years now, and she was with me in the relationship I was in when she arrived in my life and the ones in-between then and now. She is also the one who I have left behind under the care of another even though she is sick. What is causing the sickness the vet doesn’t know. The vet knows it is an infection of some kind, some kind of virus that requires antibiotics that I have been forcing down my dogs throat prior to leaving. But the actual cause, so far, appears to be unknown.

So, as I ride down the road, alone with my thoughts, I think of my number 1 girl. The one who has given me annoyed looks when I bring a home girl she doesn’t approve of, and the one who has wagged her tail in approval of the others. I think about what that magic number or illness is that will be the decision point for when it is time to put her down. And I think about how alone my home will be when it happens.