Welcome to a GPT-generated privacy policy. I didn’t want to write it myself, so I had AI do it.

Why? Because apparently every website needs one, even if we’re not actually selling your data, tracking your every move, or even sure how half this stuff works.

1. Information We Collect

Almost nothing. But technically, if you visit the site, your browser might leave behind some crumbs called “cookies” and our server might log basic info like your IP address, browser type, and how long you stared at our page before realizing there’s nothing useful here.

We don’t know what to do with this information, but it gets collected anyway because the internet.

2. What We Do With Your Information

Nothing. Seriously. We’re not selling it, sharing it, or whispering it to advertisers in dark alleyways. We wouldn’t even know how. If we ever figure it out, we’ll still probably forget to do it.

3. Cookies

Cookies are tiny files that live in your browser and occasionally make you feel like you’re being followed online. We might use them accidentally because we didn’t disable them in whatever platform this site runs on. But we’re not baking them, reading them, or judging your cookie preferences.

4. Third-Party Stuff

There might be links or embeds from other sites (like YouTube, because videos are fun). They might track you. We don’t control them. We’re just trying to make the site not look like it was built in 1998. Additionally, I link to pages that sell stuff such as my books. What they track is up to them.

5. Your Data Rights

You have the right to ask us what data we have about you. The answer will most likely be: “None, but we’ll check under the rug just in case.” You can also ask us to delete your data, which is easy, because again—we probably don’t have any.

6. Changes to This Policy

We might update this policy once in a while, usually when we remember it exists or someone scary-sounding sends us an email. Check back if you’re curious or just really, really bored.

7. Contact Us

If you have questions, concerns, or just want to say hi, feel free to contact us via whatever contact method we put on the site (probably email). We promise to pretend we know what we’re doing.